


Monster

by impala_imagines



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family Drama, Fluff, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 20:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13555182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impala_imagines/pseuds/impala_imagines
Summary: The Clarks are the only family you've known since the world ended, they've been the one constant. When Nick walked away from the family, you felt as if you lost a part of you, but now there is someone new who is sparking your interest, and your sparking his. Only problem is, he wants to kill your family. Can you trust the monster? Or should you run away?





	1. Chapter 1

You’d been sat alone in a small room for who knew how long, your head resting against a wall seeing as you’d given up on finding a way out. There was no way out. You were stuck at this post apocalyptic hell awaiting your fate. You just hoped that Alicia and Madison were in a better position than you were right now, you were exhausted but you needed to stay awake, you were alone, defenseless and honestly starting to find yourself rather scared as you sat in the corner of the cold unwelcoming room.

Why did she have to chase Nick? Why did Madison always have to chase him? Part of you understood why, sure. You’d always had feelings for Nick, despite his many flaws. Nick was kind, caring, he made you smile, and he never denied that he had faults. He was rather perfect in your eyes. But then he walked away, he looked at the group as they begged him to come and just walked away into a group of infected, because that was his new high. Then as always, Madison chased him and you were once more left to comfort your best friend, as she watched her mother caring more about her son than her. Alicia was like your sister; well the whole Clark family was your family now. Your parents had been away when the world ended, you never got to see them again, and you didn’t even really know if they were alive. But the Clarks kept you with them, through thick and thin.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you started to picture the way here. You wanted to at least try to figure out if you’d be able to get out of here, once you were reunited with the only family you had. But the issue was all you could picture was the dead bodies that were strewn across the grass. Those poor people, being murdered for who knows what reason? They didn’t look like the infected; you’d seen enough of them between L.A and Mexico to know they weren’t, even if you didn’t get a good look at them. Opening your eyes once again, you wished that you were at least tied up; wouldn’t it be easier if you were? You’d not feel so much like a caged animal if you were, you’d at least feel like a prisoner.

On arrival, your eyes had darted around; trying to see what was going on around you. How many solders, how many had guns, and who would be the easiest to take down. But you’d been quickly distracted by the split up of the group. Travis was taken to one truck, while you, Alicia and Madison the other way. It was then the horrible fearful thoughts had filled your mind, men and women were only ever separated like this for one reason, extermination. You’d always been into History, and all you could think at that moment was that one of these groups was never going to see day again. “Please, please don’t split us up!”  You’d begged at that point, begged and tried to fight to get Travis with you, at least if it was the end of your journey, it should’ve been all of your journeys end, not just one, or three.

Were you all doomed?

The door slowly opened and you found yourself wishing you’d found a weapon to fight with, sitting up you watched as a solder walked into the room carrying a tray. “Sorry to keep you waiting, I was chatting with Madison and Alicia. I lost track of time.” He explained letting out a chuckle as he placed the tray down on the table. “I’m Troy; you must be Y/N? They spoke very highly of you.” Standing up, you scoffed, not even really looking at him. “Where is my family?” You questioned, finally looking him in the eyes.  

He might’ve been the bad guy, he might’ve been holding you prisoner, holding you away from the people who loved you and you loved. But you were rather surprised by his good looks. “Are you alright?” Had you been staring at him? “What? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” You replied trying to compose yourself and forget about the good looks of the man in front of you. “Tea?” He motioned to the cups on the table, as he gave you a charming grin. “I’d offer coffee, but it’s sadly not brewed and we have to save energy of course.” Slowly you shook your head. “No thank you, I don’t drink tea.” You replied, folding your arms across your chest, you moved into the room, and a little away from the wall. “Where is my family?”

You watched as Troy took a seat and motioned to the one opposite him, he had a soft smile on his face as he did so, and you found yourself trusting him, even though he was holding you all captive, you couldn’t help yourself. “Are they actually your family?” His question caught you off guard, had Madison said they weren’t family? “No, they’re not. Not by blood anyway, but they’re my family. They’re all I have now, and I don’t want to lose them.” You explained softly looking down at the blonde southern man’s hands as he wrote in a book.

“What are you writing?” You questioned, Troy looked up after a moment and smiled. “I tend to write things about every person I meet.” He explained closing the book and tucking it back inside of his jacket. “What did you write about me?” You couldn’t help but lean forward, the curiosity making your eyes shine softly. Leaning forward, Troy reached out and tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear. His touch sent a jolt of electricity through your body. “That’s a secret.” He whispered looking into your eyes as his fingers ran down from your ear to your arm, leaving a trail of Goosebumps along your arm as he went.

The pair of you stared into one another’s eyes as his fingers moved gently over your wrist. “I’ve never seen a group like yours, you all feel as if you’re family, even if it’s not by blood.” Looking down, watching his fingers for a moment, you grinned. “Well, we’ve been through a lot, Alicia is my best friend, and before all of this and I was staying with them. We’ve been through a lot as a group, why wouldn’t we look at each other as family?” You questioned as you felt his hand pull away from you, leaving a strange coldness to run through your body. Finding yourself struggling for the warmth that this stranger had provided you, your hand reached out to take hold of his. Only for a knock on the door to stop you before you were able to touch. “Troy, we’ve got a situation.” Watching as he stood up, your eyes locked with his for one more moment, he couldn’t seem to help giving you a cheeky smile, before turning and opening the door and leaving you alone.

You stared at the door for a few moments, willing it to open and for him to walk back inside, but you knew that was silly. Standing up, you turned and walked over to the couch across the room and sat down. Guilt entered your body as you thought about what had just happened, even if you’d hardly been anywhere near each other, you felt very guilty, as if you were betraying your family. You were almost thankful for the distraction, whoever, or whatever it was had saved you from a moment of complete and utter betrayal, something you weren’t looking to ever do against the Clark family.

You couldn’t help but wonder how any of them would’ve reacted if they had found you together, his hand on your arm, or your hand holding his. There was something about Troy, a strange pull that you found yourself having to him. But you chose to shake it off; it had to be because you missed Nick that was it, that was the reason. Wasn’t it? If only you knew that the reason he left the room was because of Nick, and Travis. Would that change anything? Maybe, but the woman that Nick had with him, was going to cause a big change for you.

You must’ve fallen asleep, because the door flying open caused you to sit up and shake your head. “Y/N, come on! We’re getting out of here.” Getting up, you made your way to the door and froze as you saw what Madison was doing to Troy. Covering your mouth, you pulled your eyes away, knowing you couldn’t look at that. “Y/n, come on!” Pulling your eyes away, you looked at Alicia. “Alicia go and get a car, Y/N try and find our weapons.” You nodded as Madison ordered you to do something; you however couldn’t get that image of Troy out of your mind, it caused a strange uneasy feeling in your stomach. You were sure you could feel the acid starting to move into your throat as you ran. You tried to fight the urge, as your stomach started to flip. “Come on Y/N, focus.”

Thankfully, everyone was more focused on Madison and what she was doing; you were able to find where they’d been holding the guns. But as you rounded the corner you came face to face with a gun. “Hands above your head!” He ordered, causing you to slowly raise your hands above your head, he moved and pulled your arms behind you and started to drag you out. “I can fucking walk!” You snapped as he dragged you to the pit. “Little thief.” He uttered into your ear as he dragged you there, you tried your best to fight him, but knowing he had a gun, sort of didn’t help you.

As you arrived at the pit, your eyes landed on Travis, Alicia and Madison. Rushing over, you hugged them, as someone ordered the solder holding you to let you go. “Thank God you’re-.“ You found yourself pausing and turning around to see him, see Nick. Your heart fluttered, but instantly dropped into your stomach as you saw the girl he was with. Bitter, sickening feeling filled you as you realized that in your mind you’d been chasing a ghost, there were no feelings between you and Nick, not the way you wanted there to be anyway, and that girl was just proof of it all. How could you have been so damn stupid? “Come on, we’re going to get Luciana some treatment, then we’re going.” Looking away from Nick, and the beautiful girl he was with, you followed after them, your heart sinking and feeling as if it was broken.

You guessed the main thing right now was that at least you were all back together now; the family would be able to leave as a group. “Could someone get some more bandages?” Looking up, you nodded softly. “I’ll go.” Walking to the infirmary, you couldn’t believe Nick. Were you just something to pass the time while stuck on the boat? Had those moments together not meant a single thing? That kiss the two of you shared after you nearly died, was that nothing? You guessed it didn’t, guessed that something about that moment had been nothing but a cruel trick. You found yourself wanting to cry, needing to. But you refused to, as the tears appeared, you blinked them away.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here.” You spoke softly as you walked into the room. Watching the man stand up, you smiled softly. “How are you?” You asked Troy feeling stupid for having to ask that. “Well, someone nearly took my eye, but I guess I’m alright.” Watching him fold his arms, you looked away for a moment, your eyes glancing down. “I should get what I came for and go.” You whispered. “Y/N?” Looking up at him, you found him stood a lot closer now, your heart fluttering as you stared into each other’s eyes. “Come with me; come back to the compound with me. Leave them. Please.” Had you fallen when you were grabbed by that solder earlier, this had to be a dream. How could this person who hardly knew you, ask you to come with them to places unknown?

Feeling his hand touching your cheek, your head shot up. The distance that had been between the two of you was closed, standing with your bodies close to each other you felt your heart pounding. His thumb brushed over your cheek. “Come with me, you’ll be safe. Please.” His head started to tilt as he looked into your conflicted eyes. “Please.” He whispered as he leaned in to press his lips against yours, you found yourself leaning in too. Wanting to taste this man in front of you, regardless of what he’d just done to your family. Something about him pulled you in, every moment you were together, your heart fluttered and you felt alive. He was forthcoming with his feelings, unlike Nick who clearly never wanted you.

“Y/N!” The voice hit your ears, just as your lips were about to touch Troy’s. Pulling away, you turned around. “I’m in here.” You called, clearing your throat as Nick walked inside. “Is everything okay?” You nodded with a small smile. “Yeah, Troy was just getting me some bandages from his pack.” You lied, looking over at Troy who nodded and pulled some from his bag. “Here you go.” Taking them from his hand, you felt that same jolt of electric that had ran through your body on the first meeting. “Think about it.” He whispered softly. Pulling away, he went back to sorting his pack to leave.

Catching up with Nick, you made your way back. “Y/N…” You didn’t dare look at Nick, so many questions bubbling inside of you as you walked. “Whatever it is, can wait Nick. We have to go and help your girlfriend.” You rushed away, but found yourself stopping dead as you saw the infected coming from the other side of the hanger. Before you could even speak, Nick had run off to help them. Looking at the bandages in your hand, you put them into your pocket and raced over to help too. “Get back!” Finding something to fight with, you moved toward Madison and started to fight alongside her.

“Y/N, behind you.” Spinning around you saw an infected moving in to bite you, it was as if someone had placed a spell on you at that moment, you weren’t able to move as it reached out. “Y/N!” You could hear Nick shouting for you, but you still couldn’t raise your weapon, not when it looked like your dad. It was nearly upon you when a gunshot rang out and it was taken out. “Come on, get in the truck!” Looking up, you saw Troy and his men in their truck. “Madison, we have to go.” You told her, snapping out of the trance. “Nick, come on!” You made your way toward the truck, fighting off the dead. You could see Nick wanted to go for the chopper, but right now they needed to just go. “It’s our only option, come on!”

Reaching the truck, your hand was met with Troy’s as he pulled you into the truck. A grin appeared on his face as he looked away and shot down a couple of other infected. “Looks like you’re coming anyway.” He said clearly smirking as he did. “Come on, let’s go!” He shouted banging on the roof the moment Nick and Madison were in as well. “We’re all heading to the same place now.” You collapsed into a space beside Troy, your eyes staring at the group behind you, searching for the sign of the dead that looked like your father. “Are you alright? That undead bastard didn’t get you, did he?” Looking up, you noticed Troy looking down at you and shook your head. “No, I’m fine… it’s just… He looked like my father.” You explained, a look of sadness appearing in your eyes. “It’s alright; we all lose people in this world, it’s okay to be sad.” He said softly, your eyes looking at his hand that was resting on your knee. “How far is it?” Madison interjected, causing Troy to pull his hand away from you and focus on the other woman. Your eyes turned to look out at the dead bodies as you drove through the gates into the road, unaware that you were being stared at with a look of displeasure.


	2. Chapter two

The music blared in the car; you could feel your eyes fighting with the temptation to close, even if the music was ear splittingly loud, you wanted to fall asleep. It apparently didn’t go unnoticed, especially when you finally gave in and your head landed on Nick’s shoulder. At that point, Madison got up from her seat to reach over and turn the music off. Glancing back, Troy noticed you asleep, a slight smile tugging against his lips as he saw that you were sleeping peacefully. “Nice to see someone is able to sleep.” He commented, causing Nick to roll his eyes. “If you hadn’t separated us from her last night, I’m sure she would’ve actually been able to sleep.” Nick glanced over at his mom at this point, surprised that you had been taken away from them.

You weren’t really sure when it was that you woke up, but your head was still on Nick’s shoulder and his head was resting gently on yours. It was a strange feeling, but at the same time it was one that was soothing. “Welcome back to the land of the living.” You glanced up and your eyes landed on Troy’s, he was looking through the rearview mirror and you couldn’t help but smile as he looked at you. “What time is it?” You questioned softly not wanting to risk waking up Nick if he was asleep. “Nearly eight, you seemed to need a lot of sleep.” Troy explained. You couldn’t help but laugh softly. “I didn’t think I was that tired.” You said finally, your eyes glancing out the window. “You must feel safe.” He responded, causing your eyes to flicker toward Nick’s sleeping form. “I guess so.” You uttered as you looked back up at the mirror and gave Troy a smile.

As the truck came to a stop at set of gates, you looked out and raised an eyebrow. “This is your ranch?” You questioned, but Troy was busy talking and the driver had barely spoken to any of you the whole trip. “Get out of the truck.” The three of you glanced at each other. “What?” Troy raised his voice at this point, telling the three of you to get out of the truck. Doing as you were told, you stood there watching as the truck drove in and left the three of you outside of the gates. Leaving Nick and Madison to have a talk, you walked slowly along the fence for a moment, before taking a seat on the grass and looking up at the sky.

It had been a long time since you’d just sat and looked at the world passing you by. Even at the hotel you weren’t able to just relax, everyone else made it their home, but you struggled, you spent your time worrying about Nick, where he was and about where your parents were as well, and if they were alive. You loved the Clark family, that was never up for debate, but the problem was, you found yourself unable to think of anyone but your mother and father sometimes and you found yourself becoming rather broken.

Pulling your legs up, you hadn’t been aware that Nick was watching you until a hand touched your shoulder. “Hey.” He said softly, taking a seat beside you. “Are you alright?” He questioned. Did he notice the tears that were forming in your eyes, or was he just making sure that you were okay. “I’m alright; it’s been a long few weeks.” You admitted, skipping around the fact that you had been worried sick about Nick, worried about your parents, worried about everything. His arm moved to wrap around you, your body tensed up feeling him close to you.  He was with Lucy now, this hug… it didn’t mean anything and you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from feeling that pounding heart.

Pulling away from Nick, you looked down at the grass and pulled a clump of it with your hand. Opening your hand, you let the grass blow away from the palm of your hand and let out a gentle sigh. “If they’re not back yet, where do you think they are?” You said suddenly. “I don’t know, but I want to go find them, Mom says we have to wait.” Nodding softly, you glanced over at him. “She’s right, we need to be patient. We don’t know where they are and being here, being with these people we have a common goal.” Looking up, noticing Madison talking to someone, he was moving to open the gate. “Nick.” You said quickly, before standing up and walking over to the gate with them.

There was so much about this place that surprised you, Jeremiah showed you to a cabin where you could all live. You wouldn’t deny that already you were starting to think about what would happen if you stayed here; would it be so bad if you made this place your home? You knew that Nick and Madison were only really here for Alicia, Travis, and Lucy, but did you really belong in this family? You weren’t sure anymore, so the idea of staying here, it appeared in your mind. “I’m going to go… explore.” You explained, but as you made your way toward the door Nick grabbed your arm. “Don’t, stay here with us.” You pulled your arm away. “Sorry Nick, but you can’t tell me what to do.” You glanced up at him, before walking out. Of course you didn’t know that the moment you walked out of the room Nick would blame this new attitude on Troy, telling Madison that you’d not been the same since he’d been back in the group. Maybe if he wasn’t clueless, maybe then he’d understand.

You should’ve probably had a wash before leaving, but it was only your jacket that was covered in blood. Pealing it off, you threw it on the ground by the cabin and started to walk. It was beautiful here, so untouched by the dead. There were children running around, laughing, and playing. People were interacting like neighbors, family, friends, you wanted this, and you wanted to be here. Looking around some more, you stopped and watched a game of soccer that was going on not far away from you, the kids looked so happy. Had they even been subjected to what was going on outside these fences? So many civilians, it was really quite surprising, especially with the military protection.

“Glad you came?” Turning around, you found yourself sandwiched between Troy and the fence behind you. “This place is beautiful.” You responded with a soft grin. “As for coming here, we didn’t have much of a choice in the end.” Troy chuckled softly, and nodded, as he reached out and touched your cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, out there is far too horrible for someone like you.” You didn’t realize that he was leaning in, his fingers lightly tracing your cheek. “Someone like me, what do you mean by that?” You questioned softly. “Beautiful, strong, intelligent.” You couldn’t help but shake your head. “Troy… you hardly even know me.” You pointed out to him as he moved his fingers down your neck as his thumb ran over your lips. “I want to though.” He uttered, his body pressing ever so slightly against yours as he closed the space between you and pressed his lips against yours.

The kiss wasn’t as sweet as his words had been, instead it was hard. There was passion and desire under the surface as he gripped hold of your neck to hold you against him, your arms moved and rested on his hips as you returned the kiss. You lost yourself for the first real time in a long time, this kiss was nothing like the one you’d shared with Nick, that kiss had been sweet, soft, tender. This was filled with need, want, desire, and you couldn’t deny that you felt it too. You didn’t care if he’d tried to kill your family, or about anything else he’d done. Right now, all you cared about was what would happen when your lips parted.

His lips finally broke from yours, your eyes met and there was a smile on your face just as there was one on his. Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his swollen lips once more, before pulling away again. Neither of you spoke however, you just looked at each other, arms still wrapped around each other. Resting his head against yours after a second, Troy then pulled away as he sensed you two were no longer alone.

“Y/N?”


	3. Chapter three

Looking from Troy over to where Nick stood staring at the pair of you, you felt your heart sinking. “Nick.” You uttered softly. How long had he been stood there? Had he seen the two of you kissing, or was he angry over the closeness that the pair of you currently shared? You weren’t sure.  “What the hell are you doing with this guy?” Nick snapped pushing Troy away from you, anger in his face. “Nick!” You shouted trying to push him back. “Nick, stop!” But Nick wasn’t listening; he moved and swung a punch, hitting Troy in the jaw. “Nick!” Troy looked up, his hand held his jaw as he wiggled it from side to side. “I suggest you listen to Y/N, Nick. Otherwise you’ll regret it!” Troy’s words left his lips and they caused Nick to move to shove him once again, this time you were able to move between them and push Nick back.

“Back to the cabin Nick, now!” You snapped at him, shoving him away from Troy. Moving to walk after Nick, you glanced back at Troy for a moment, then turned and made your way after him. Nick was so frustrating, why was he acting like this? Moving after him, you folded your arms and let out a gentle sigh, you felt pretty awful right now. While you couldn’t help but smile a little about the kiss you’d shared with Troy, you couldn’t help but wonder what on earth it was that was bothering Nick so damn much. Part of you thought maybe it was jealousy, but the other part of you knew it wasn’t, it was because he’d nearly killed the family.

Arriving at the cabin, you stepped inside and slammed the door loudly behind you. “What the hell was that?” Nick yelled before you could get a word in. “It’s me who should be asking you that Nick!” You near enough screamed at him. “He nearly killed our family!” You shook your head hard. “No Nick, he nearly killed YOUR family, this family. It’s not my fault. I leave and you all just carry on, we’re not blood, none of you actually care about me, not to the degree you claim to. I’m just someone who has been with you since the start.” Your voice fell as you spoke, you felt your heart start to sink as you came to terms with the truth.

“That is bullshit and you know it Y/N, we love you, you’re a member of our family! To have you messing with that… that asshole, you’re betraying our family!” Staring at him, you wanted to badly to bring your arm up and slap him across the face, but you couldn’t do it. You weren’t sure if Nick saw your fists clench for a second, but the instant that they relaxed, you looked up at him and sighed. “That isn’t true Nick, that isn’t true at all. I’m always going to be picked last like if we were in gym class Nick, you, Alicia, your Mom all come before I do. You might call me family, but if I killed someone and was told I had to leave somewhere, I’d be cast out alone, because your safety, the three of yours, is more important.”

There was a long pause, your eyes looked down at your feet and you couldn’t help but find yourself shaking your head slowly as he denied it. “It’s not true, we’d not let that happen.” Scoffing rather loudly, you looked away and sighed. “Not true Nick, you say it’s not true, but look at Strand. Look what happened when he killed Thomas and wouldn’t kill himself, he was cast out and no one went with him. The only reason we were going too was because the place got set on fire.” Nick looked down at you, his soft puppy eyes looking down at you, reaching out his fingers traced your cheek causing you to pull away. “It’s not true, I’d come with you.”

* * *

 

You’d just made it onto the Abigail; you’d already been patched up and now were lying on a bed below deck. Staring up at the ceiling a soft sigh leaving your lips as you tried to focus on anything but the pain radiating through your shoulder. “Y/N?” Sitting up as you heard Nick calling for you, you stood up and slowly moved to the door and opened it. “Nick?” You asked seeing him walking past. He stopped and turned back to look at you. “Hey, I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Looking at him you couldn’t help but smile ever so softly. “Coming to play Doctor are you?” There was a low chuckle from Nick’s lips and he found himself grinning as he moved into the room. “Maybe I am.” He teased coming to take a seat beside you. Slipping your jacket off and pulling your arm out of your shirt so that he could look, you looked down.

“What you did, that was rather brave. Ofelia owes you her life.” You let out a soft chuckle and shook your head. “No, she doesn’t. I was just protecting our own.” You commented as you felt Nick’s fingers running over your body and fixing up your shoulder. “Don’t be so modest.” He whispered, you could feel his breath on his shoulder. Looking up, your eyes met his and as you stared at each other, you found yourself leaning in; his fingers fell from your shoulder and ran gently down your arm. Your lips met his, as your hand moved to cup his face. It was a soft and sweet kiss, but it was strong and full of desire. It pulled the air from your lungs. Breaking the kiss, you had to wonder if that meant he wanted you the way you wanted him.

* * *

 

His touch brought you back to that moment, reminded you of what it felt like when he’d kissed you. That moment you’d been convinced that maybe, just maybe there was going to be something between you, but after that first kiss, nothing ever happened. “Nick.” You found yourself whispering softly, looking up at him. You’d not expected it, but a second later his lips were upon yours. But your heart no longer fluttered, your body no longer responded to him. Pulling away after only a second, you moved back needing to create the space between the two of you. “Don’t you dare, you’re with Lucy. Don’t.” You repeated, your hand moving to slap him. It was the first time you’d ever hit anyone, but Nick deserved it after that. Stepping back away from him, you shook your head slowly your eyes looking down away from you. You needed to make the space between them, needed him to get away from you right now.

“I’m sorry, I.” You shook your head softly. “Do not even start Nick.” You snapped shaking your head. “You do this to me every time Nick, you do this to everyone!” You snapped trying to keep the distance between the two of you. “You never cared for me Nick.” You whispered, your eyes looking away from his. “The last however many years that I’ve known you Nick, you’ve used me. You don’t care; you don’t even look at me like someone you’ve ever felt anything for!” You spoke feeling a sinking feeling inside of your chest. “It all makes sense now really, the times you showed up, pretended to care about me, only to then borrow money, you never cared about me, you cared about yourself, you cared about you and you only. I was just too blind to see it, you never wanted me.”

Nick shook his head softly, moving closer to you. His hands moved to hold your arms at your sides, his eyes locked on yours. “No, that isn’t true; it’s not true at all Y/N. I have always cared about you, I promise you.” Pulling away, you shook your head. “Your promises mean nothing Nick…” You trailed off, pulling yourself from his grip once again. “Did either of the kisses we ever shared mean anything?” You questioned softly, you looked him directly in the eyes and waited for an answer. “I love you Y/N… but not in the way you want me to.” You didn’t know how to react at that moment; you felt anger, annoyance, heartbreak, and so many other things bubbling up inside of you. “Then you can’t tell me what to do, at all!”

Walking out of the cabin, you slammed the door behind you. Letting out a gasp, you tried to hold in the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes, but it was too late; the first tear fell from your left eye as you ran away from the cabin. You couldn’t do this, you just needed to be alone.


	4. Chapter four

Your body was shaking as you ran from the cabin, how could he do this to you? You didn’t look where you were going, you didn’t bother, what was the point? It wasn’t like you were going to be able to just leave the compound. You finally found yourself alone by a group of trees; sadness was clear on your face as you leaned against the rough bark. Your cheeks were red, your face was puffy and you couldn’t help but sniff as you sunk down to sit on the roots. Raking your fingers through your hair to push it out of your face, tucking the pieces of hair behind your ear, you leaned back and looked up into the trees.  Tears ran down your face, you couldn’t help but realize how emotionally drained you were right now, all the emotions you’d gone through over the last twenty four hours were catching up with you. As you pulled your legs into your chest, your arms wrapped tightly around them you found yourself wishing you’d never been with the Clarks.

 

“What were you doing there Troy?”  The words echoed through Troy’s mind as he stood looking at his father in his place of authority. “I was doing tests, I know things now Dad. I know how different body weights effect the change, I know a lot. Sure I might’ve killed people, but they were only people that were going to die anyway.” Troy explained with a shrug of his shoulders. “What about the Clarks?” He questioned. “Nick came across the border with a bunch of Mexicans; the men were doing their duty like you did. The others, well they were alone. Just the four of them, it was the Madison and Y/N plus the two that are in the chopper with Jake.” Troy looked at his father with his one eye as he nodded. “What about this Y/N? She seems to have caught your eye.” Troy chose to not answer that question, his eye narrowing as he looked toward his father, unsure if that had been a pun or not.

“I need to get on with my work.” Troy spoke, moving to turn away. “Troy.” Jeremiah spoke clearly and sternly, wanting his son to listen before he went anywhere. “Yes?” He turned back to look at him. “The Clarks, they’re here now. They will be making their home here I’m sure of it. Now, whatever happened back there while you were meant to be on that fuel run, I don’t care. You did, what you thought was right. However, now they are residents here, I don’t want any more trouble between you and them, do I make myself clear?” Troy nodded softly. “Crystal.” Jeremiah nodded and looked back at his work. “Good, now off you go.” Troy looked at his father and nodded softly, before walking off.

Stepping out into the cool early evening air, Troy let out a sigh and made his way to his truck so he could head off to the fields to check the crops and the fencing before going to dinner. However the thought of dinner tonight seemed to turn his stomach slightly, he wasn’t exactly hungry and he just wanted to go to bed, maybe watch a movie then go to bed, it was a possibility. Driving to the fields, he stopped the truck as he noticed something by a cluster of trees, getting out of the car, his hand moving to check for his gun. He moved over ready to take out whatever it was over there. However he didn’t need to, his body relaxed as he realized it was Y/n. Bending down, he reached out to wake them, but pulled his hand back as he noticed the tearstained cheeks.

 

 _‘What have you done to me Y/N?’_ The words echoed in your mind as you opened your eyes, a slight gasp leaving your lips as you did so. Looking up, you noticed that you weren’t in the cabin. What had happened? This wasn’t where you fell asleep last night, was it? It quickly came flooding back, you’d been under that tree, you’d been crying after that fight with Nick. Where were you now? Slipping out of bed, you were still dressed, however as you moved across the room you noticed you were barefoot and your belt had been removed for comfort, but other than that your jeans and your t-shirt were on. Standing in front of a small mirror you looked at yourself for a moment, before turning to the sound of the door opening. “Morning.” Looking at Troy as he stepped inside, with a tray of food, you couldn’t help but bite down on your lip. “I found you outside and you honestly didn’t look like you wanted to go home so I gave you my bed for the night.” He explained, causing you to bite your lip slightly.

Troy cleared his throat after a moment and walked over to the table and placed down two plates and cups. “Coffee and breakfast, I figured I’d leave it here if you were asleep, I saw when you were in the truck how long you can sleep for.” Your cheeks flushed slightly as he moved to look at you. “I have to go get my bandaged changed soon, but do you want to eat together?” You realized you’d not said anything since Troy had been in the room, what was wrong with you? “Let me, change your bandage that is. I’m pretty good at first aid and it’s the least I can do for you bringing me in last night.” Troy shrugged; he wasn’t going to fight you when it came to cleaning a wound like that. “Thanks.” He responded, picking up his coffee, and the other mug, he offered you a cup and smiled. “Nick might hate you, but at least you have manners.” You said letting out a little laugh.

“I’m going to guess that _chat_ with Nick didn’t go very well.” You shook your head softly. “No, it really didn’t go well at all.” You commented looking away and taking a sip of coffee, trying to not pull a face at the bitter taste. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head as you placed down the coffee. “No, it’s alright, thank you. But no.” Noticing the gap between the two of you closing, you pulled away quickly and picked up a piece of food. “The food here is amazing; it’s really great to be somewhere that feels so untouched by what happened.” Troy nodded softly. “My dad was smart.” You nodded in agreement, looking at him. “We should go get that bandage changed.”

When Troy left, you slipped on your socks, boots and belt before pulling your hair up into a tight bun. While you waited for him to return, you made the bed, trying to keep yourself busy while you waited for him. Looking up as he walked back in, you gave him a smile and sat down on the edge of the bed, an awkward feeling running through your body. “Alright, ready to clean me up?” You nodded, looking up at him with a small grin. “Yeah, I am.” Once he sat down, you reached up and pulled the bandage carefully off of his eye. Bandage or no bandage this man was so handsome, you could hardly look away. Starting to clean it, you focused on the cut under his eye, feeling your cheeks turn red as he stared at you, and at the level of concentration on your face.

“Almost done.” You found yourself saying softly, as you bring your hands away from his cut. “Why won’t you look at me?” Feeling his hands move to your cheeks, you sucked in a breath as he brought your face up to look him in the eyes. You found yourself thinking about what Nick had said to you the day before, but the issue was Troy was… there was something about him. Even if Nick felt like it was a betrayal of the family, you couldn’t help yourself, not with him, not with the way you felt electric running through your body at his touch. “Did I do something wrong?” Troy asked, part of you wanted to say yes, but he didn’t, not really. “No.” You whispered, as the pair of you gravitated toward each other. “Are you sure?” You didn’t bother to answer; your lips met his to silence the conversation.

Troy’s arms slipped from your face and moved to your hips, pulling you closer to him as your arms wrapped around his neck. The kiss was more intense than the one before, this time you knew what you wanted. You wanted Troy, and he wanted you too. He pulled you into his lap, your legs straddling him as he. “Y/N.” He uttered, his lips travelling from yours down your jaw. Your fingers started to unbutton his shirt, the need you had for him growing as his lips brushed your collar bone. “Troy.”

It wasn’t you that was saying his name however. Looking around toward the door, Troy pulled away slowly a sound of frustration leaving his lips. “Yeah Dad?” He called causing you bite down on your lip as you realized Troy’s member was pressing against your leg. “Your brother is home.” You and Troy looked at each other for a moment as he sighed once again. “I’ll be right out, just having my bandage changed.” Slipping off of his lap, you grabbed what you needed and then applied the bandage to his eye. Moving to stand up, Troy grabbed your hand and pulled you back down. His body moved on top of yours and pinning you down with his hips, you found yourself letting out a small gasp at the feel of him pressing against you. “To be continued?” He uttered, making you nod. “To be continued.”

Getting up, he pulled you up and kissed you softly, then adjusted his pants as he made his way toward the bedroom exit. Looking over at you for a moment, he grinned softly, and then walked out. Going after him, you made your way toward the gate with Troy, noticing Madison and Nick as you went. You didn’t dare look at Nick, but Madison gave a small smile to. As the gate opened, you rushed over and hugged Alicia tightly. “I’m so glad you’re alright.” You uttered softly, pulling back you looked up at her to make sure she was alright. Thankfully Madison was too focused on Alicia and where Travis was to quiz you on where you’d been all night. But it wasn’t really thankful a moment later as you realized Travis wasn’t with them.

So many people had been lost since the start of the apocalypse and honestly you felt as if you could no longer take it. Biting down on your lip, you tried to bite back the sadness that was appearing on your face. It was only a moment later you realized that Troy was holding a gun to Lucy and then a second later Nick had it and was pointing it at Troy. “Nick… don’t.” You found the words leaving your lips as you watched him with fear in your eyes. It was the first time you’d spoken to him since yesterday, your blood was still boiling. “Nick.” 

Jeremiah managed to talk it down, thankfully, causing you to let out a thankful sigh. Nick moved to stand beside you as Luciana was placed onto a stretcher. “If you’ve chosen him, over us… you’re right. You’re not our family.” Nick uttered in your ear, causing you to turn and look at him. “You pick everything over your family, don’t you dare start lecturing me Nick.” He was so frustrating, how dare he, he was such a hypocrite. Pulling your eyes away, you looked at Troy for a moment, then walked away heading for the cabin for some clean clothes and a very much deserved shower.


	5. Chapter five

A sudden gasp left your lips as you sat up, _his_ name leaving your lips as you hugged your blankets in the darkness. Beads of sweat slowly trickled down the back of your neck, you hated it. The dream left you feeling rather shaky, fears coming to the front of your mind. Glancing toward Nick’s bed and then Alicia’s, to check to make sure you’d not woken either of them up. If it had however been you and Alicia in this room, you’d have gone to her, but unfortunately that wasn’t going to happen. Lying back down, you stared up at the bunk bed above you and sighed. Closing your eyes once again you attempted to calm yourself and settle back down to sleep.

The nightmares continued through the night, it seemed every time you close your eyes you would see the dead coming toward you and two paths one with Troy and one with Nick and the rest of the Clarks. Each time you picked a way to go, you never made it, you never got to who you chose. They were upon you, the undead took you down and while you screamed for help, no one ever came to help you. Each time you reached out for one of a groups you found yourself shooting awake, no matter how many times you lay back and closed your eyes after clearing your mind, it was still there happening the same each time.

As morning came, you gave up and got up. A shower and change of clothes came before sitting outside the cabin waiting for the rest of them to rise. It was too late to watch the sunrise, but you were still able to watch the color strip from the sky and turn a beautiful bright blue. “Hey, what are you doing out here?” Looking over your shoulder, you grinned slightly. “Morning Alicia.” You said with a grin as she took a seat beside you. “How are you?” Watching her shrug said it all, she was struggling and you didn’t blame her. Travis dying in front of her and a helicopter crash must’ve been stressful.

Reaching over, you put your arm around her and hugged her tightly. Kissing her on the temple you smiled softly. “It’s going to be alright.” Before either of you could say anything further, the door opened and Madison and Nick appeared. “There is a meeting this morning before breakfast; we better head over there before we are late.” Getting up, you dusted down your behind and made your way with the rest of the family. You couldn’t help but wonder if Madison or Alicia had noticed the tension between you and Nick.

You still hadn’t spoken, especially after he held a gun up at Troy yesterday, it made you angry and you couldn’t forgive him for everything he’d done. Taking a seat next to Alicia, you watched the Otto family move to the front and listened as Jeremiah spoke about Charlie and about how this meeting was to remember her. Your eyes moved to Charlie’s mother as she spoke, you could feel your heart breaking for her. This was the second funeral you’d been to in a matter of months. Thomas’ was a little bit more beautiful than this one, but then with no body and no grave you could understand why this wasn’t like that other one.

As Madison stood up your eyes drifted to Troy for a moment, then down to your hands. You started to fiddle with the cuff of your plaid shirt; the thought of everyone who had died so far was painful. Your parents appeared in your mind once again, your chest ached and tears appeared in your eyes. Feeling a hand touch yours, you looked up at Alicia and gave her a weak smile. “Are you okay?” She mouthed, causing you to nod softly. It might’ve been a lie right now, but it was what you were sure Alicia needed to hear, she needed you to be strong for her right now and that was what you were going to do.

Getting up as it finished, you glanced at Troy thinking he was coming toward you but instead he moved past without so much as a look. Biting down on your lip, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d done something. Making your way to get something to eat with Madison, and Alicia, your mind started to race. How could you of done something wrong? You were deep in thought until someone grabbed your attention, listening to the girl as she spoke about you and Alicia coming to bible study, you smiled weakly. “Thank you for the invite, but it’s really not my sort of thing.” You explained moving away and taking a seat to eat. Looking at the plate you let out a sigh, you weren’t hungry and you doubted you were going to be.

“You should eat, if you want to keep your strength up.” Looking up at the voice, you offered a polite smile. “I’ll be okay… you’re Jake right, Troy’s brother?” He gave you a smile and nodded. “Yeah I’m his big brother, you’re Y/N.” Biting the inside of your lip, you let out a sigh. “I’m sorry for your loss.” You’d heard from Alicia that he was close to Charlie, saying you were sorry for his loss seemed to be the right thing to do right now. “Thanks. I heard you and Troy are getting close.” You shrugged, your eyes travelling down to the eggs on your plate and pushing them around. “I guess.”

Without another word, Jake sat down and tucked into his food. “He’s not a saint my brother, but he’s been through a lot and he likes to push people. I’m not going to tell you to stop seeing him, he’s my brother and you know I do want him to be happy. But I am going to warn you that you’ll have your hands full.” Eating a piece of toast, you shrugged your shoulders. “Thanks Jake, but…” Jake nodded. “I know, it’s your relationship and all, but I have to look out for my brother, and more importantly the people of this ranch… including you.” Letting out what seemed to be the millionth sigh that morning, what was the actual motive behind this talk? Was he here because of Madison or Nick maybe? Or was this him actually being here for his brother? “I just… thanks for the warning Jake.”

Finishing your food, you return your things and made your way back into the cabin. Stopping dead, you heard voices inside, raising an eyebrow you leaned closer listening to Troy and Madison talking. “Everything that I do is in service of this place.” Pressing your ear against the door, you listened hoping not to push the door open. “Does your father believe that?” You moved away for a moment, swallowing hard not understanding what was going on between them. Leaning back over, you listened again. “You understand me. That’s why I picked you. But I didn’t pick Nick.” Madison was confusing, what was she up to exactly? “He comes with me. Package Deal. What about Y/N, did you pick her Troy?”

You found yourself swallowing hard as you listened to him. “Why were you separated? Why was he with strangers and not his family? He doesn’t deserve his place. I think you know it.” He didn’t answer about you. “He’ll earn it. What about Y/N? Did you pick her?” Maybe it was time to walk inside? You weren’t sure, did he actually pick you or were you here for no reason? “I chose her, I asked her to come here myself. Don’t start making it look as if there are problems, where there aren’t any.” Troy’s words caused you to swallow; did that mean he wanted you here then? “I asked after you jammed a spoon in my eye Madison, even with one I could see she was something special. Shame Nick can’t, really isn’t it?” Slowly you moved and pulled the door open, stepping inside and looking between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“Troy was just leaving, weren’t you Troy.” Troy looked at Madison and then turned to walk away. “That was made this morning, Troy.” Watching him make the bed, you found yourself wondering once again if you’d done something wrong. He didn’t even look at you as he walked out and shut the door behind you, letting out a breath in frustration; you turned your head to look at Madison. “What was that about?” You weren’t sure if you were angry, or annoyed, or confused anymore. Things here were getting strange and with Troy ignoring you, Nick and you not talking, all you had left were Madison and Alicia.

“I want you to stay away from Troy Y/N; I know I’m not your mother. But I think it would be best.” Staring at her, you blinked as your eyebrows rose in confusion.  “What was that about Madison?” You asked once again. “I’m trying to get to know the Otto family, the more we know, the more of a chance we have against them.” Nodding slowly, you bit your lip a little as you contemplated what she said. “Surely then me getting close to Troy would help then?” Madison shook her head. “We don’t know what sets him off.” Madison spoke causing you to raise an eyebrow. “He doesn’t seem like that with me.” You responded. “He tried to kill Nick; he tried to kill Travis, and Luciana.”

The moment between the two of you was getting heated, the pair of you were getting frustrated and honestly this was the first time the pair of you had ever blown up against each other. Madison and Nick fighting, yeah that was normal, Alicia and Madison fighting, that was almost normal. But you and Madison, she wasn’t your mother; she wasn’t even a mother figure to you. She was just your best friend’s mother, nothing more. “No, that wasn’t by his hand, or his orders. That was his men, and not him.” You responded shaking your head. “He tried to kill Travis!” You pushed your hair out of your face, finding yourself getting frustrated. “Troy only did that to protect his men.” Before another word was spoken, Madison raised her hand and struck you across the face.

Moving your hand to touch your cheek, you looked up at her and shook your head. Turning you walked out quickly slamming the door behind you. “Y/N, hey.” Your cheek was throbbing; your eyes were staring to sting as you attempted to fight the tears forming in your eyes, you didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. “Y/N!” Feeling Troy’s hand grab your arm, you turned to look at him. “What do you want Troy?” You asked attempting not to snap at him. “What’s wrong?” Pulling your arm away you shook your head. “Nothing.” You utter, folding your arms across your chest to create some space between the two of you. “Y/N…” He said softly, his soft tone caught you off guard. Looking up at him, it was clear that you were surprised by his gentle tone.

Watching him as he took a step closer, you felt his fingers against your cheek. Your eyes closed for a moment as he touched you, letting out a sigh, your arms dropped letting him come closer. You looked up at him as he ran his fingers over the redness on your cheek, his palm touching you tenderly. “What happened?” You could feel your heart thumping, he was different somehow. You couldn’t understand why Madison was so against him. “It’s nothing.” You uttered, looking away from him. “Did Madison do this?” You nodded your head ever so slightly, his fingers brushing down your face to behind your head as he brought his lips closer to yours.

“I’m sorry.” His words seemed sincere, you weren’t sure just how sincere he was but he did sound it. “I have to get to work.” You whispered as his lips brushed against yours. “So? Can’t we have some fun first? Cheer you up?” Feeling him pulling you closer, you smiled a little wrapping your arms around him, but then shook your head as his lips brushed over your jaw. “I need to work Troy, I don’t want them thinking that I’m lazy or just not doing work because of you.” Troy let out a laugh, his hands moving down to your hips and pulling you flush against him. “Don’t be silly, come on. Let’s just have a little time together.” You shook your head; leaning in you pressed your lips against his and smiled. “I’m going to go and work; maybe we can do something later.”

Pulling yourself away, you glanced back at him with a small grin tugging at your lips as you made your way toward the fields. You’d signed up to do farming, you had no idea what exactly what you were doing but if you could help well you would help and you figured growing something would feel rather rewarding. Looking up as you walked through the ranch, you noticed Nick and Alicia up ahead and found yourself wanting to avoid them as much as possible right now, with everything that was going on. You were starting to feel like you were no longer part of the group; you were in some strange place between both of the groups. You didn’t feel welcome in one and you certainly didn’t feel wanted in the other.

What were you meant to do?

Deep in the dirt, it was everywhere. But you didn’t mind, you were taking part and that was what mattered most right now. “Hey, Y/N.” Looking up at Troy, you let out a slight laugh and shook your head. “What do you want Otto?” You questioned standing up and looking at him. “Are you trying to play hard to get?” He questioned as you dusted yourself off. “I don’t know, maybe I am. I mean after this morning where you totally ignored me, it feels rather justified.” You responded with a shrug. Troy let out a groan, before grabbing you by the hips and pulling you close.”I have to go on a boar hunt tonight, do you want to come… or maybe meet me after?”

You found yourself smiling as your arms wrapped around his neck. “Why are you inviting me?” Troy’s hands moved around to rest on your butt as he pulled you flush against his body. “Well, you said you wanted to contribute.” He shrugged his shoulders. Letting your arms drop and rest on his shoulders, you looked into his eyes and shrugged. “I don’t know, there was me thinking you wanted to spend some time with me.” You found yourself smirking softly as Troy leaned in and rested his head against yours. “Maybe I do, and well if you’re already with me I won’t have to worry about having to find you after.”

The invite was interesting; you’d never been on a hunt before. “Maybe.” You teased, your fingers running up and down his arm. “I’m just not so sure your intentions are the purest Mr. Otto.” There was a soft chuckle from Troy’s lips as he leaned in and kissed your jaw. “That’s alright then, because they really aren’t.” He uttered, his lips moving to capture yours. Your bodies pressed even closer than before as the kiss deepened and became more intense, his hands groping your ass as your fingers ran through his hair. A small whimper of pleasure left you as he pulled your lip between his teeth. “People want me to stay away from you.” He uttered his lips moving to nibble on your ear lobe. “Don’t.” You muttered as your arms wrapped around him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You decided to go on the hunt, there was something about the way Troy asked you, and the way he’d told you so honestly that people wanted him to stay away from you that you realized that you didn’t want to be away from him. You finally started to feel as if you were finding your way in this place; it was refreshing to feel comfortable. Even if you and Troy didn’t know each other very well, it felt as if you were starting to settle already. There was more to Troy than meets the eye, but you knew that and it didn’t bother you too much. Wasn’t part of a relationship getting to know each other after all?

Moving through the evening with some of Troy’s men, you glanced around as you realized neither Nick nor Troy were anywhere to be seen. Moving away from group, you started to look for them, a worried expression appearing on your face as you searched for them. “Troy? Nick?” You called out, there was no response however. The sound of a gunshot echoing caused you to start to run, you found yourself fear the worst as you made your way in the direction of where the sound had come from.

Manic laughter filled the air as you got closer to the pair of them, your running slowed to a jog as you started to realize that it wasn’t just Nick laughing, it was Troy too. “We can be friends now.” You moved slowly over, your eyes looking between Troy and Nick. “What’s going on?” You asked as Troy pulled himself up and started to grab his papers. “Nothing.” Nick was the first to speak; you couldn’t help but look at Nick with a curious look on your face. You always thought you knew when he was lying, but you weren’t really sure. “We were just sorting our differences.” Troy explained stuffing his journal into his pocket and coming to reassure you. “We’re fine.” He reiterated his point, causing you to look up at him, then again over at Nick.

“I heard a gunshot, I got worried.” Troy shook his head. “Was an accident, it’s really nothing to worry about. Anyway, it sounds like the boys have found the boar, let’s go find them and head back home.” You nodded your head softly, glancing to Nick one final time. What had happened between these two, well you didn’t know. But you were now more curious than ever. Finding the group with the dead bore, you all started to head back to the ranch, your mind was going a mile a minute, what was it exactly that had gone on? You’d not even noticed that most of the people had already piled off of the truck a few moments after getting into the ranch. It wasn’t until a hand touched yours that you shot out of your daydream to look over at Troy.

“What’s going on inside that head right now?” He asked pushing a piece of hair out of your face. “I was just wondering what happened between you and Nick. We got into a fight over you the other day, and if he’s causing more hassle I’m going to have to talk to him.” Troy shook his head and moved to stroke your cheek. “No, it was nothing, he was going to shoot me, but he didn’t.” You suddenly found yourself looking worried. “I need to go and sort him out.” Troy sighed. “No, you don’t.” His arms grabbed hold of you and pulled you onto his lap. “Leave him to it, let’s just go and have some fun, alone for once.”

His words were tempting, you couldn’t help but find yourself very enticed by the request, looking down at the blue eyed beauty, you smiled softly and finally nodded. “Let’s go.”

 

 

 


	6. Chapter six

Sitting on the back of the truck, your eyes stared up at the cloudless sky. You felt tiny compared to the beautiful vast sky littered with stars, a gentle breath left the pair of lips beside you reminding you that you weren’t alone.  Turning to look at Troy, you grinned softly; his hand reached out and took hold of yours as his other arm slipped under your neck. “I didn’t have you pegged for a romantic.” You commented as you snuggled closer to him on the blanket you shared on the back of the flat bed truck. “Well you know, I’d like to think I’m actually rather charming. Your people might not like me, but I am charming, you have to admit that.” He commented causing you to giggle. “I guess you are. You’ve won me over at least.”

Troy’s fingers ran through your hair; before he leaned down to kiss you. You understood the tension between him and the others, but when you had such a connection with someone, how could you refuse what your heart wanted? You returned the kiss, almost instantly, it was soft, sweet and there was no sign of that man who the Clarks met the first time. There was something about Troy, even if he was a lost and damaged soul; you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting him. He broke the kiss first, his thumb stroking your cheek as he pulled his lips away only an inch from yours.

“What?” You found yourself asking as he looked down at you. “It’s just…” He let out a gentle sigh. “Just what exactly Troy?” You questioned, watching him sit up. Sighing, you sat up to, your hand moving to his. “You’re the first person in a very long time, that I’ve felt actually cares about me… it scares me.”  Your hand held onto his slightly tighter, as your other hand moved to touch his arm. “Troy, I can’t be the only person who cares about you, I mean what about Jake, and what about your Dad?” There was a soft scoff from Troy, who turned to look at you, his head shook softly. “My dad sent me away; he gets worried about the place and what I’m going to do. Jake… he has no choice, he can’t leave anymore, not like he did before this happened.”

A gentle sigh escaped your lips; you never realized just how much Troy was hurting. His eyes looked away from you, up to the stars. “Troy.” You uttered gently, moving to kneel up. “Troy look at me, please.” You turned his head to look at you, a gentle expression in your eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, honestly it scares me how much I’ve come to care about you since we first met, but I do and I’ve put you before the people I’ve called my family… and I’m not going to stop now.” Was it the Apocalypse that was causing this, or was it finding someone that you actually felt as if you couldn’t be without? You weren’t sure, but it really didn’t matter, you couldn’t be without Troy, even if it wasn’t love, it could be one day.

There was complete silence between the pair of you for a few moments, Troy just staring at you, as if he had no idea what to say. “I care about you too, I’d… I’d do anything to protect you.” It sounded so romantic, so sweet. But was it really, yes, you were sure it was. “Y/N.” He uttered softly, leaning in to you, causing you to lean in too to meet his lips, and kissing you passionately. Your arms moved to instantly wrap around his neck, as his hands rested on your hips. It was a few moments later that he broke the kiss, his lips moved to your jaw, and down your neck, hitting the sweet spot near your collar bone, causing a gentle moan to leave your lips. “Troy.” You gasped as he pulled you closer and you felt his member pressing against you through his pants.

You didn’t need to talk, as your eyes met each other’s, no one needed to say a word, you both knew what was about to happen. Both pairs of hands moved quickly as lips crashed against each other’s once again. Hands unbuttoned pants, as shoes were being kicked off, and pants and underwear being removed in sudden desperation. His hands gripped onto your hips as you’d finally shed enough clothes, climbing on top of you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he lined up with your entrance and thrust inside you, giving you both the relief you needed.  “Troy.” His name left your lips in a soft moan as he started to thrust inside of you, his hands moving up to lace with yours and move up to rest above your head. His lips met yours as the pair of you shared such an intimate moment under a starlit sky, with just the sounds of grunts and moans breaking the beautiful silence of the ranch.

Breathing soon steadied, as you lay wrapped in each other’s arms, legs tangled together and a blanket covering the pair of you. Glancing up at Troy, you found a smile spreading across your lips. “Are you okay?” He questioned, causing you to smile and nod. “Yeah, I am.” You were more than happy right now, you felt rather complete. It was strange how just hearing that he cared for you and how you cared for him made everything feel so much better. “I should get back soon.” You sighed, as you moved to rest on his chest. “Why?” Troy asked in hardly a whisper. But you couldn’t answer; you didn’t know why you had to go back.

You weren’t sure what time it was, when you eventually gave in and fell asleep in his arms. But as you woke up, the cool fresh air hit your face and caused a shiver to run through your body. Lifting your head, you saw the light gradually getting lighter and lighter. “Morning.” Looking down at Troy, he grinned as he looked up at you. You couldn’t help but smile back at him; he looked very cute in the morning, his eyes all sleepy, his hair a mess. “Morning.” You replied, as he sat up to meet you and give you a morning kiss. “That was some night.” He uttered, causing you to laugh. “A good night.” He nodded in agreement, his fingers reaching up and tucking a stray hair out of your face.

Finally taking in the area, you noticed people were already up, getting ready for the day. You couldn’t help but laugh, it was like a return to reality, now that there were others around. “Come on, let’s go.” You said slipping your shoes on, before climbing out of the back of the truck. Looking back at Troy, you realized he was staring. “What?” You questioned curiously. “Nothing.” He replied, chuckling, slipping on his shoes and jumping out. “Liar.” You returned, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m just not sure I’m ready to let you go yet.” He admitted, causing you to grin. “We’ll have breakfast together, alright?” He nodded softly, kissing your head. “I better get back to the house.” He said with a gentle sigh.

Watching him drive off, you couldn’t help but smile. Did last night really happen, it did and nothing was going to stop you from smiling right now. “Y/N!” Turning you saw Alicia, and grinned softly, waving. “Morning, are you just getting back from Bible study?” You questioned, to which you got a nod. “Wow, didn’t put you as a religious nut.” To which Alicia laughed as you both started to walk back toward the cabin. “It’s more drink and get high than anything.” She explained, causing you to laugh. “Oh, so basically I missed out on a party?” Seeing her nod, you grinned. “Well, I’m going to have to think about maybe going sometime to one of those.”

You chose to not tell Alicia about what happened last night, you both changed and cleaned up, before making your way to breakfast, you didn’t dare look at Madison, who you could tell was glaring because you’d been out all night, when Nick had come home. Good thing she wasn’t your mother really, letting out a sigh you left before the rest, not wanting to have to have to deal with the looks of anger from her and the painful silence from Nick. Arriving at breakfast, you instantly said hi to a few of the people as you started to gather some food, and a good cup of coffee, before leaving the tent. Noticing Troy sat at a table, you paused for a moment seeing as he was with his soldier buddies, you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. But seeing him glance up, and grin, then wave you over, you knew he wanted you there.

“Hey.” He said with a grin as you sat down. “Hey.” His arm instantly wrapped around you, his lips moved to kiss you softly. “Guys, please we’ve not finished eating yet.” One of the guys commented causing you to chuckle. You didn’t notice Alicia or Nick arrive, as you sat eating and talking to Troy and his friends. You felt at home here, you felt like this was the right place for you. “ Everybody, listen up, please. I just got updated on Outpost Alpha. McCarthy and his unit went out 36 hours ago, and we ain't heard nothing back. Could mean a hundred things, 99 of them benign. But we always got to prepare for the one-off. Troy here is gonna take a party out, but we're gonna need volunteers.”

You looked toward Troy as they spoke. “I’m coming with you.” You told him instantly. Troy shook his head as his father started to say names. “No, you’re not Y/N. I don’t want you to come out there and be in danger.” You found yourself scoffing. “Troy, I’ve looked after myself this far. I can do this.” As Jeremiah said Madison’s name, your hand shot up, your eyes not leaving Troy’s as you did. “And Y/N. All right, everybody, enjoy your meal. ” You looked at Troy, as you waited for him to speak; he let out a sigh and then leaned in. “Fine, but you stay close, do you understand?” You smiled softly and nodded, leaning over and placing a kiss on his lips. “I promise.”

 


	7. Chapter seven

They left without you, how could they do that? You stood alone near the fence looking out at the convoy as it sped away from you. You weren’t sure if it was Troy’s doing or if it was Madison’s but they’d left you behind. Leaning on the fence you watched until it disappeared and then let out a gentle sigh, a conflicted feeling taking over you. Folding your arms, you walked away from the fence and made your way back, a troubled look on your face as you made it level with where Nick and Alicia were. You were confused, Troy said he didn’t mind you going, but he was gone already. “I thought you were going with them.” Alicia said as she spotted you. “So did I, guess I wasn’t worthy.” Your eyes glanced at Nick as you waited for him to say something, to make some sort of dig, but he just looked away.

“I could bang your heads together.” Alicia muttered storming off and refusing to say anything more to the pair of you as she walked away. Looking up at Nick, you wanted to tell him that you missed him, that you wished you could sort out this tension between you and become friends again, but memories of what he’d said came flooding back and it made you look away from him. One step, two, and then his hand was on yours. Looking up into his eyes you raised an eyebrow a confused expression on your face, his fingers laced with yours as he started to walk. You decided to not talk, you just followed him.

Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did you continue to have feelings for people who would only hurt you? You spent so long with the Clarks, even before this and now, now you just felt alone and it hurt, it just hurt a lot. It just like that everything between you was forgiven, you didn’t need to say it, you never had between the two of you. Neither of you ever had to say sorry, it just always repaired in time.

A sigh left your lips as he held your hand and led you through the ranch. “Nick, where are we going?” You finally asked as he walked. “You’ll see.” You followed him, his hand still holding yours tightly as he led you to where he wanted to take you.

You hated this; you didn’t feel a part of anything anymore. You felt so very empty, and alone. Having Nick acting like this with you made you feel a little more welcome, but you still felt very alone. Memories of you and Nick started to dance in your head making you smile weakly, a smile starting to tug at your lips.

“What?” He asked looking at you. “Remember that time we skipped school and ended up at that fair?” Nick started to laugh. “I don’t know who was more mad Alicia cause she didn’t get to come with us, or my mom ‘cause I got sick from that hotdog.” You started to laugh as well. “I remember her calling my mom because she didn’t believe that you’d gone alone and called me when you got sick, I never did thank you for covering for me.”

Looking over at you, Nick grinned softly. “You didn’t need to.” He said with a weak smile. “That was back when we were friends…” You mumbled. “You’re still family, even if you chose Troy over us.” You nodded softly, as Nick led you into the shack. “I missed this, I missed us.” Looking away from him, you looked around the shack. “You’ve done so well, it looks amazing.” Nick grinned as he looked around. “I have, haven’t I?”

Watching him as he looked around with a sad expression on his face, you bit down on your lip. “I’m sorry about Lucy not wanting to stay. If she loved you she wouldn’t make you choose… sorry I shouldn’t of said that.” You whispered, causing him to look at you. “I’m sorry for what happened between you and I.” Scoffing softly you looked up at him and shook your head. “You don’t need to say sorry, we never say sorry to each other.”

Nick shook his head softly as he moved closer to you. “This is different, the world ended, I could lose you any minute.” Looking up into his eyes, you bit your lip. “I was scared every time you left, scared that you’d never come back, not just because of how I felt about you Nick.” You paused feeling tears prick your eyes. “Please don’t leave the ranch, please.”

Nick didn’t speak; he just looked down at you, his expression turning serious. Then, suddenly he leaned in, his lips ghosted against yours. “Nick…” you whispered as your lips danced around catching each other’s occasionally but never stopping in each other’s. “Y/n.” He whispered, before his lips crashed against yours. From the moment they touched, you were in a passionate clinch.

Hands gripped each other, clothes were moved and then Nick hoisted you up. Your lips never parted from each other’s as you removed the others clothes. A whimper left your lips as he lowered you onto his erection. The moment continued, his hands holding you up as the pair of you continued to share a moment of madness.

It seemed to as fast as it started, but truth was you didn’t know how long you’d been there. Finally he set you down on the ground; there you both stood for a few moments, his forehead resting against yours. “We should get dressed.” You finally uttered having Nick agree with you.

Nearly straight as you left you bumped into Lucy, an awkwardness came over you as you smiled and continued to walk. “Hey Y/n.” She said making you pause and then turn around. “Yeah?” She stepped closer. “Nick spoke very highly of you, it’s a shame we won’t get to know each other.” You nodded softly, it then dawning on you that she had no intention of even seeing Nicks side. “Same.”

You turned to walk away, but stopped. “Lucy…” You said sternly. “Nick means the world to Madison and Alicia, wherever he goes Madison won’t stop searching for him. I’d suggest you stop and think if you can put their lines

You turned to walk away, but stopped after a moment. "Lucy." You finally said before turning back to look at her. "What you're doing, that's unfair." You stared at her. "Excuse me?" She snapped folding her arms across her chest. "You know Nick means the world to Madison and Alicia right? He leaves, again it will not only break Alicia's heart once again, but Madison will end up chasing him once again." You said snapping. "You have no idea what Madison will do to find Nick, she will move heaven and earth, she will stand up to anyone and anything to protect those who she loves." You said stepping closer to her.

"You make him leave his family, they leave this place, this safe haven and do you know what will happen then? They will follow, they will chase after him and more than likely end up dead, there is only so many times they can follow him into the unknown without something bad happening and i swear to god they get hurt because of you, i will hunt you down and i will make sure Nick knows exactly what happened to his family, what happens to the people he loves because you wouldn't stay for him." Looking up at her for a moment, you then shook your head and turned and walked away.

Your heart was racing as you walked away, fury ran through your body as you made your way from them to escape. You couldn't do this, you couldn't stand this. It was all getting too much and you couldn't take it. Things were getting hard, getting far too damn hard for you to take, first he left. He left without you, and then Nick, the thing with Nick... then this.

Moving to your cabin, you sat down on the floor buried your head in your hands. Everything was such a mess and you couldn't take it anymore. Pushing your hand through your hair, you dug your nails into your skull and let out cry of anger.

Getting up, you grabbed hold of your bag and started to stuff things into it. You needed to get out, you couldn't stay here any longer. In your mind no one would miss you, no one would notice if you left, or even care if they did. This was how it ended, you would walk away and that would end the story of you with the Clarks and the Ottos.

But it was far too late to leave today, you wouldn't get very far and with hardly any weapons, you needed to be careful of when you left. Taking a seat, once your bag was ready, you thought about sneaking into the Otto's house to get food and weapons, but then again what if you were caught?

 

You spent the night alone sat trying to think about what you were meant to do. You thought about running away. Would you be better off just leaving? It was dangerous out there, very dangerous but being in here, was that a good idea? You really weren't sure. All you did know was that if you left you'd have to leave in the dead of night, when no one was around to stop you.

Waking up the following morning, you groaned feeling stiff as you'd sat up all night. "Hey..." Looking up as you saw the door open and Nick walk in, you gave him a soft smile. "Hey, are you alright?" He nodded and sat down beside you. "Lucy left, in the night." Nick explained glancing at you. "I'm sorry, was that-" Nick shook his head instantly. "No, not at all. I didn't tell her."

It was then that you realised that he hadn't told her and was planning on just continuing with her as if nothing happened between the two of you. It hurt, but you weren't surprised, he didn't love you he loved Luciana, said a lot about the moment you shared together, it was nothing more than a mistake. Looking up at him, you pulled your eyes away quickly not daring to say a word about it.

"Are they back yet?" He shook his head. "No, I was planning on going to check, did you want to come?" You stood up and didn't say anything else, just walked out hoping he was following her. "Alicia didn't come back last night, I don't know where she was." She said trying to make conversation as you fell back into awkwardness.

Reaching the gates, you looked out searching for any sign of them. "There, they're coming!" Someone shouted, all of you dashed toward them, you rushed past Madison to Troy and caught him before landing on the ground with him. "What happened?" You asked in a panic. "Are you ok?" He nodded softly. "Yeah." Jake appeared next to you. "Come on, lets get you up."

You moved to help Troy up with Jake, only to be told to step away. Moving back, you looked up as someone started to yell about what had happened. Biting down on your lip, you found yourself making a decision. You were going to leave, leaving the group as they spoke about what was going on, you made your way to your cabin and packed a  bag quickly, you needed to leave and you knew that.

As nighttime came, you snuck out and started to make your way toward the gate. You kept your head down and walked quickly, fearing that you'd be caught if you didn't stop. "Y/N." Hearing Troy's voice you froze, slowly turning around you looked up at him. "Oh, hey." You said feeling rather awkward all of a sudden.

"Where are you going?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "Just for a walk." You lied and let out a small laugh. "With all of your stuff?" He asked quirking an eyebrow. "Well yeah, I um. I had to umm..." You paused as he grabbed hold of you. "You're lying, where are you going?" He asked once again gripping your arms. "Troy let me go, I... I'm leaving ok!" You said trying to pull your hands away.

"What happened to never leaving me? What happened to loving me?" Troy yelled as he gripped your arms tightly. "Troy, you're hurting me let go." You pleaded as he looked up at you. "Troy, please. I need to leave." He shook his head. "No, everyone leaves, everyone always leave me."

You looked up at Troy and shook your head. "I do, I just...  I... Troy please you're hurting me, let go." You ripped your arms back and found yourself falling to the ground and smashing your head on the ground. Looking up at him, your head started to hurt instantly. You looked up at Troy, as he just stared down at you not moving to help your world disappeared into darkness.

 


End file.
